The start of Mat leave

So I’ve finished work. Done, dusted and stored for a year. I’m torn in the sense that I love work and the people I worked with when I was grounded. As I normally fly for a living, a stint in the office is a welcome change.

Now I’m faced with just over a year at home, for a third time, with bump #3 and 2 toddlers. Suddenly it seems very real. I’m very torn between wanting to get everything done, seeing everyone before the mayhem of a newborn and just wanting to spend time with the boys and husband. I’ll admit, it’s a privileged dilemma. Not many other countries allow you to have a year off after baby, with a job at the end of it. The sad truth is, that at times work is my escapism. It’s the one time my husband or the grandparents can have the kids, without me feeling guilty. It’s a legit reason to be out, not being self indulgent (and doing a lap of triumph around a shopping mall/coffee shop etc after a hard week).

I can’t wait for baby to be here but I’m acutely aware of this being the last 3 weeks of only having 2 gorgeous babies, a big and little brothers. Soon they will be two big brothers. I’m squeezing in as many cuddles and adventures as I can, with just the two of them. Although something tells me it’ll all be fine, when, in the morning they come in, demand to see bump and give her lots of cuddles and kisses, ask how she slept and if she’s nearly here to play with yet. To sum up, I’d say I’m just really really lucky to have so much love. To top it all off, I saw a double rainbow on my way home.

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The last days before maternity leave

So today I went to work, for my third to last day. I finish at the end of next week. This time has always been a mixed one, with each of my pregnancies. I feel good about accomplishing a lot. The last few months have flown by and I have finished a few big projects. As Cabin Crew/Flight attendants, we get grounded when we report to the company that we are pregnant. We then work in an office environment, which can be a good thing, for a change and a rest from jet lag.

Today I did some major handover stuff for my boss. We have a course to run next week and I felt the need to organise everything before I left for the weekend. It’s part of nesting I think. I just hate the thought of going into labour and work needing to still be done. As a result, his desk looked like Mt Everest. The photo on here was about half way through. It did make me laugh.

I’ll be sad to finish but also really glad of the time off before baby comes (hopefully!). I’m getting really tired and uncomfortable now. I know with a new born, at times I’ll feel that work would come as a welcome rest, but as with the last two, I have to remember that a year goes by so quickly and before I know it, I’ll be somewhere like New York and missing my babies. I guess I have to learn to embrace the present. Still, looking forward to my leaving lunch next week, a good excuse to celebrate.

Infernal nocturnal hamster

The hamster is truly truly nocturnal. The boys have been campaigning to give her a cuddle, but no such luck! She has been spotted outside of her house once during daylight hours. Night times are a different matter though, all I can hear is “thump, crash, spin, scratch” from downstairs.

It’s like she has her own private spin class all night and then sleeps it off during the day!

1.30am wake ups, why oh why?

My 2 year old sleeps. He sleeps well, generally. So why is it that for the last few nights (but not every night, as that would be too predictable), he wakes up and demands 1) Mummy’s bed 2) play time 3) wake big brother up or 4) song time?

Deep down I know the answer. He’s got big changes going on. Pre school 2 mornings a week, a sister on her way soon, he’s had a tummy bug in the last week. So why do I find it so hard? I don’t want this to become a habit and so I refuse to take him into bed with me (he wouldn’t sleep anyway).

Compromise ended up being me sleeping on the floor between the boys’ beds, singing “twinkle twinkle” and then leaving once he was asleep. I just need my own bed and at 34 weeks pregnant, it’s all a bit of a heavy load, one way or another. The upshot? His brother, who shares a room with him, slept through all of it.

Of course now I’m wide awake and so that’s that. Onwards and upwards as they say.